Sunday, January 6, 2008

Predictions From Blogopolis

Hi guys, it’s Blake and it’s that time of the year again! Predictions for 2008!!! Perhaps this list is a little late but what of it, we are living the future right now and cool stuff happens like every day. So here are some things I think would be cool if they happened in 2008.

  1. Sheena Easton will make a massive come back and a shocking dance statement with her smooth moves in the critically acclaimed “9-5 (Morning Train)” music video.
  2. A couple new fashion trends will sweep the nation. The first being matching ones clothes with what they are drinking. Margaritas? Yellow t-shirts and tan shorts duh. Cosmos? Pink sweaters and shiny jeans. Beer? Brown turtle necks and fucking brown dock martins. Aprons will also become popular.
  3. In 2008, America will elect a president who fancies dueling. Wait, America will elect Andrew Jackson’s bones president.
  4. KFed
  5. Dinosaurs will become hip and the kids will start calling their friends by their reptilian surnames. Like Greggasaurous Rex. Or Jilatactyl. How about "Bronteosusan?"
  6. On April 4th, Scientists will invent a jacket that keeps warm by sending text messages.
  7. Steve Rocco will reveal that he is not Andy Kaufman but rather John Lennon. Everyone wins.
  8. Parents will demand they attend school with their children in order to keep them safe from terrorism. Also the kid leash, a favorite among traveling/mall going families, will be written into the constitution. On January 17, parents will be forced to keep their children on leashes at all times.
  9. No one will say “pants.”
  10. History will acknowledge itself and throw an awesome theme party for the world.

Well gosh, that is about everything I can think of right now. Hopefully these cool things will become fact in 2008! I’m curious to see what you predictions are for the upcoming year. Comment/post your guesses of what will make 2008 great!

Have you read about condoms?

"I can still smell you on my fingers."
To catch,
capture blood in skin,
to see the only remainders
of an hour's work: only
plastic, latex, and crust;
scent and must.

However many deep breaths
and "fuck"s you may mutter
whispered in her ear,
talk dirty and make it clear
that you feel secure in her arms.
But know that it
is usually only rewarded
with emotion.

Connecting human lovers,
(sex is) on the surface
tending to the young.
We as lovers (here)
do not comprehend the remainders
that an orgasm leaves behind.
Beyond simply sickly
white, yellow at the tip of a condom
but a permanent imprint
of the cock or cunt
left in the mind
like the favorite song or line
from a favorite movie.
There is nothing cinematic
in the way we bounce on a mattress,
cinematic, no,
but emotionally beyond
all other things.
I love my family,
I love my music,
I love my life,
but I fuck you
and I hold that above the crucifix
that has taken my place
on the wall, in the bedroom which I was comfortable in
my youth.