Sunday, October 12, 2008

I will stay away from serenity

here there are so many reasons
to take the steps to better yourself.
To get healthy, to get happy
to get well; somewhere
I am and another place
I have been.
Taking pills and smoking grass
with that place's sunset
seems better now
than even this
and I swear to myself
that I love I am
and my life,
when I begin to wonder
if I am my life
I myself
or my life within myself.

Serenity will take up a couple hours, but it won't erase a day.

By placing myself here
as opposed to there
I allow myself ignorance
other themes and other heroes
and endless simplifications
act like serenity in sentence.
So as the poem gets better,
I get ill
and hopefully when it gets perfected
I will be nowhere at all.

Until then, I will stay away from serenity, away from "the break of day o'er a wheat field in fall when the gold is gone and the dinge is all."

I will live here
away from romance
and expectedness
and hope you
can guess what I'll say next
before my anger gets the best of my beauty
and I break a foot on the third trochee,
then I'll cut it off altogether
leaving only here and me here.