Friday, May 9, 2008

Driving Pigs Off A Cliff

Children, children, behold
In your grace, I have here
The first and only Viral Marketed Soul!
It walks like a man
Looks kinda like your granddad
And spits forth sense
Paid for by big business
Gather round and listen for a spell
This aint like a thing you will ever be told!

A salesman in a pale yellow suit hands an clay-faced looking human a sweaty coca-cola, perspiring in a red burning sun. His audience, a growing crowd of kids, whisper amongst themselves about what the man just said. “What’s Feral Barketing? Is that some kind of dog?” “My pa told me the soul is in the stomach!” “Does that man smell of my granddad and is this about science class?”

The tall ancient looking thing takes hold of the wet beverage, pops the tap, and takes a long curious sip…

“LISTEN TO MY LIPS,
DARK BROWN AND SUGARY
KIDS, CAN YOU GUESS
WHAT THIS IS?”

“Coca-COLA,” the children shout with decibel-topping glee!

“WRONG. IT IS AMBROSIA
THE NECTAR OF THE GODS
IT WILL MAKE YOU LIVE
A MILLENIA. SO TELL YOUR
PARENTS STRAIGHT AWAY
THAT A NICE LOOKING MAN
TOLD YOU THE SUSTINENCE
YOU DEMAND IS FIT FOR A
KING.”

A number of the children break off from the half-moon shaped group and shout off onto the sidewalks leading toward their homes in the suburbs. The remaining children, skeptics at heart, stand around staring at the two loud-talking beings as if looking for some slight sign of being redeemed.

Not sold, kids?
Well how bout I try
A different kind of
Magic medicine...

The yellow jacketed man smiles to reveal a set of dagger looking teeth as he reaches in a pocket deep within his jeans. After a bit of a struggle, he procures and all too appealing box, packaged to advertise a platinum selling videogame. Growing uneasy, the kids begin to grind their teeth. Some of them salivate as they wait for the man to hand the tall talking mannequin the chic looking square object. It looks at the cover art and turns. It reads the box closely and opens his mouth as the crowd comfort him a winter kind of silence.

“UNLOCK A BLOCK
AND TICKER TAPE DREAMS
A LITTLE BLACK STICK
TO GIVE YOU FAMILIAR
FUNNY FUN RESULTS!
LOOK AT THIS SCREEN
BOYS AND GIRLS, AND
TELL ME WHAT YOUR
PRETTY PREPUBESCENT
EYES SEE!”

“SUPER MARIO PARTY DS!,” They reply in a warbling scream.
“THAT’S TOO EASY!”

But the giant mass of apricot colored flesh shakes his head, and points up, to the cloudless sky.

“NO’OO, MY FRIENDS
THIS IS A BIBLE
HELD TIGHT IN MY HANDS
EVERY NIGHT BEFORE YOU
GO TO BED
TURN THIS ON
AND SPEAK A PRAYER
TO YOUR MAKE BELIEVE FRIENDS…
DUKE DK, SIR LUIGI, DUCHESS PEACH, AND MARIO THE KING!
THESE ARE YOUR PASLMS
WRITTEN DIGITALLY
THAT LIGHT BLUE IN
THE DARKNESS. THAT
IS YOUR LORD WRITING
HIS NAME ON YOUR CHEEK.”

All but one in the sliming crescent shape flees to their parents and boasts aloud the majest of their new imaginary friends to the animals of the forest. A girl, no older than the fingers on her hand, stands alone glaring at the wasp looking man. The sun is setting and she watches him claw, swiping at the beads of sweat that leak from the top of his hairless head.

Little girl, he stammers
I see you have not followed
The rest of the children.
But, without a doubt
I’ll have you running
And hollering to your kin
When you see what can be done
With my artificial man!

The man fiddles with his hands and bows slowly to the girl in the lilac patterned dress. He advances slowly toward the dull toned sentinel and stares blankly at its skull as if about to mutter a world-ending secret. Seconds pass while the man stands before the thing he wants to believe is human when finally, reaching up toward the sunset, he grabs hold of the colossus’s head and whispers slowly into the shell like labyrinth of it’s earlobe. The girl continues to watch as it reanimates itself to life.

“I SEE YOU GIRL
WITH RIBBONS TIGHT
WRAPPED AROUND
LOCKS OF GOLDEN
STRANDS IN A FIELD
FILLED WITH DAISES.
YOU PICK OUT THE DANDELIONS
AND A WARM BREEZE PRICKS
AT YOUR HEAVILY FRECKLED
FACE. YOU LOOK UP TO SPY
THE DIRECTION THE WIND
BLOWS IN WHEN YOU SEE
A THING SHAMBLING
TOWARD THE PLACE YOU
STAND. A SHADOW OF A
HUMAN ADVANCING. AS
LIGHT SHINES ON IT YOU
NOTICE A BOUQET OF ROSES.
YOUR SPECKLED CHEEKS
ARE FLUSHED AS A MAN’S
SHAPE BEGINS TO FORM.
TALL, DARK, HANDSOME.
LIKE THE ONE IN YOUR DREAMS.”

The lines of the girl’s sun-drenched face begin to contort and shape itself into the early phases of a grin. The toneless giant continues…

“YOU RUN TO HIM
GAYILY AND FULL OF
GRACE. YOU JUMP
INTO HIS ARMS AS
HE RECEIVES YOU.
KISS HIS FACE.
HOLD HIM TIGHT.
WHISPER…
YOU ARE THE
MAN I WILL
LOVE FOR ALL
OF ETERNITY.”

Almost to tears, the young child beams with delight. She has never heard anything more beautiful than the sermon the tall man spits. His metallic voice echoes off the tops of distant trees as he chirps proudly,

“THIS MAN IS REAL.
ALONG WITH MANY OTHERS
AND CAN BE FOUND
AT MATCHMAKERDOTCOM!”

The girl’s bright fa├žade turns a cadaverous gray. She looks beyond the man, dropping her jaw, but not a sound comes out. With a shaky hand, she points toward the pale-yellow man and gazes toward the hulking mass he claims as his associate. She tears up and mouths a minutes worth of words and turns her back to the man, walking off toward the sunset. He wonders what she said when the robot breaks through his train of thought and repeats rather deafeningly,

“HOW CAN YOU THINK EVERYBODY
WILL BELIEVE IN OBJECTS
YOU ARE PAID TO CREATE?
I MAY BE YOUNG BUT YOU
DON’T KNOW A THING
ABOUT TRUE LOVE
AND BELEIVING IN
INTANGIBLE THINGS.
YOU ARE A BEAST
WITH EYES AFLAME.
YOU ARE OBSESSED
WITH THAT BURDEN
YOU TRY SO HARD
TO HIDE YOURSELF
IN.”

Startled by the velocity of his partner’s voice, he grabs hold of its cold hand tightly and mutters to the empty sky the first few things that come to his head …

Don’t worry, friend.
You are not a beast.
She was lying!
You are nothing
But a blessing
To my heart and
my line of work.
So get in the car
And let's drive ourselves
To another country town.