Thursday, January 17, 2008

Dream Predictions for 2008

1. A woman wearing all black asks me where "Yoko" is. After deducing that she is talking about Yoko Ono, I tell her I have no idea, and she remarks "She is gone."
Translation: Yoko Ono will die in 2008.
2. Between philosophical sips of coffee in a public park, I found myself suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of desire for a breakfast sandwich that somehow worked avocados into the mix. The details came slowly, but eventually I created the finest brex-mex creation this side of the mason-dixon.
The 2008 Brex-Mex:
-Texas toast, toasted.
-A poached egg.
-3 slices of pepper smoked bacon.
-One medium-tall slice of avocado.
-Two slices of tomato.
-Sauteed red onions.
Translation: This sandwich will be served at restaurants across the nation in 2008.
3. Dennis Kucinich offers me a bong rip.
Translation: Dennis Kucinich, after being ignored in the race for the U.S. presidency, will head the secession movement for the Republic of Cascadia. After succeeding, he will smoke a bong while addressing the new Republic.
4. A four-eared, two-nosed, no-handed monster chases me through a slop forest.
Translation: The social mores surrounding the practice of nose and ear picking will be considered outdated.
5. I am faced with a stack of bills for energy, loans, rent, tuition, and credit cards. A man in a suit, carrying an extraordinarily clean scalpel tells me that "We can take care of this in one simple procedure."
Translation: The voluntary sale of human organs will be legalized, following a suit that piggy-backs on the existing laws around abortion.
6. Two women walk toward me in a party, they laugh to each other and whisper, they come closer into the light when I realize that they are both about 80 years old.
Translation: Make-up will continue to make girls look hot from a distance, and expose them as nasties up close. Seriously.