Thursday, February 7, 2008

A Response

After a lark
with a stranger
it grows earthy in the room
and our bodies stretch out
Rich tones, dew shine, a draft
dries the sweat

Outside,
a day laborer hammers the
brownstone across the street
It wakes us up
unexpectedly
and I can’t help but think
there is somewhere
and someone
I was supposed to be

In a sleepy confusion, she mocks my misstep
"You fool,” she laughs
“Those men don’t have enough money to be someone else”

It is quiet in the room
It has become so cold that I try to feign sleep
so I don’t have to
deal with
waking up in the afternoon

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mirror image.

Will said...

Clearly,

it's implied in the tone and structure. The choice is yours. Read it as an independent work or as a reaction to an earlier poem by another writer. Whatever you choose, read it.

Personally, I enjoyed it. It captured some of the elements I was going for in the original, but took it in a more introspective direction (as opposed to the humanitarian, communal perspective emphasized in the original).

Jesus, do people need to start posting defenses for every piece they put up here?

the way COMING SOON PARADISE LOST 2008 THA NEXT GENERASHUN, IT'S PAYBACK TIME.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't saying the mirror image was bad. I thought of it as a reaction to the earlier poem. I like that you all feed off one another. I enjoyed both poems.

That's how it should be I assume. Inspiration is important.