To really think that you’ve got a good thing going?
And then it hits you bluntly, you’ve missed
Good friends on weekends and countless hours of sleep.
I know how it feels to really believe in someone.
To think that I’ve got a good thing going
Only to have it blow up in my Face-
Book…. Welcome to the information age.
My mother knows what it’s like to really believe in some things.
Catholic priests caught her with fishnets when she was only
Fourteen. Now I go to church with her on holidays.
I think about the Virgin Mary.
3 comments:
I could believe this
if you didn't include Facebook
It's supposed to be read with an air of gaiety and like, you know, humor. Are you a very funny anonymous person?
i didn't post the first comment, but i figure this is worth saying:
i'm not sure what the enjambment adds to the poem, comically or otherwise. for me, it didn't add anything.
furthermore, the enjambed phrase seems to be referencing something that the reader has no knowledge of, leaving it vague and making me wonder what the rest of the poem has to do with the information age. it also seems to imply that whatever "blew up in (your) face" had to do with facebook, which is a confusing reference to an event that the reader has no knowledge of.
i vote that instead of referring to events in your writing, you rather describe the events themselves in a way that suggests how you feel about them (you are providing content without context).
the last stanza has the most tangibility to it - solid nouns give the reader something to understand in a more direct way.
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