When you take the time to think of good memories

When you take the time to think of good memories
you can separate your self- from consciousness
and you may find new memories
left behind by the waves of others, like kelp washed up on the shore
during low tide.

Today I am wearing clean clothes
and even on the bus
over the diesel smell I can breathe and take in the perfumed fabric softener,
it makes my nose twitch.
And I really must wonder
how a mix of chemicals
can smell natural
even on the fingers after the waxy residue is left behind.

When I scratch my face, the smell comes back
and I must remember to pick the laundry up
from the dryer. It has surely been an hour.
And beneath that realization,
I remember my friends have gone to pick up grass,
I must not drink all of their wine,
and beneath that memory I think that more must be purchased.

More memory more wine forgets;
I see names written all over the walls
in an illegible scrawl,
the writer will return to this place eventually
and remember the night he wrote his name in gold pen
over another in black pen,
even if he no longer knows
who wrote whose name first.

Hibernate

across from the discotheque-discourse
cigarette smoke serene, spills out
the corner of her mouth, an elegant
circus of buffoons marching
the sidewalk, dancing to
wine-bottle music, a little emptier
each note, cheeks a little rosier
the autumn trees had burned off
vibrant green ecstacy,
waiting to settle down and die
amidst the snowdrift,
the sillhouettes, their fingers stretched
yearning towards the sky or
the glow of the streetlights.
sidewalk ceramic tables
the wine bottle is empty and
the parade has passed by,
you go quiet, walk home against
a distant discotheque bass beat, a headache
the first snowfall. In silence
the last drag of smoke
slips from her lips as her sillhouette fades
past the streetlight and there is
nothing to say anymore, and
at home your quilts are cold
and your bed feels empty.

Confession to pagan god of lunar festivals

i can confer from my dashboard period
my reasons myriad
and finishing for vanquishing
that all that has come and waited to leave after they got off
questions for those who bought off
and not for him who is set in period furniture
or those who learned in chairs of yore
-waited for the financial score
and reliance on dollars spewed across the floor
in a bloody mess
made quests for those with the best
or those with bags of 'cess
i confess, i am the one with less &
i hate to use dirty water to bless,
and that theres nothing thats mine
besides her who i try to impress
and I belong to noone less
than those who fill up my time
with silly rhymes in my head
or thoughts of books so often should be read
a blankness that should be fed
but instead, oh instead
i distill questions of who i was but am not
the world forgotten by the world forgot.

--

how do you make it all seem real?
i find it hard to fit the parts
with open pages

is it me or just the season
cuz im feeling less inspired now
perhaps I'll get out
more often

we always knew it wasn't easy
to recall the past and write it down
my memory wont serve me half as well
as photographic stills

just sitting on the shelf
they cant help themselves
they cant help but glare

our eyes are simply cameras
I myself, just a voyeur
my head is filled with darkrooms
taking names and printing colors

is it wrong to create confusion
with attempts at reckless thoughts
in print?
Whatever keeps you interested
while im connecting dots

# 101

101 posts for those with jokes and hopes for the most
and not for the closed or those who happen to have chose
the path which ultimately shows who is strong
and who has held out for something beyond the rainbows
or those nights on moon lake; all the walks i never got to take
and all the laughter I never had to fake.
-A schedule of routine stakes
as easy as spearing fish in a lake.
bada-boom, bada-quake.
the only one who appears to erase.

Hey baby, you wanna go for a ride?
Don’t tell me no, cause legs like that
make me think of drippy stains
and don’t be shy, you know
my wallet is good for it.

Your hazel tone is
always such a good sip.
Wait what? God no, I don’t need
a stove anymore.
I’ve learned my lesson.

I’ve learned it’s not about potency
but rather the taste you leave
when you get all up in my
moustache. Makes me
unable to think straight.

Alright, so are you game?
You want to do it in the piece
that cools you off?
No, not the one with insulated
plastic covering.

I’m talking about that black number.
The one I found out back
in the dumpster. Of course
You remember
so let’s do this quick.

I’m ready
to crash with you
and lay awake
for the remainder
of the day.

Jesus, please crucify the economists

Though the change machines
whir and clang and scream
and the money counters
flip and flap around us,
the market makes me think
that what I need's a drink.
A strong one with no mixer,
the very cheapest liquor.

notes to pass the time

These walls tighten surrounding this hutch
encapsulated brain on matters defunct
still spinning, not traveling, but whats the fuss?
riding the ride all day long and still not strong
just a cat, without bones, whiskers all ran off
nowhere to land,no way to gauge
'The doctor is in. He's ready to see us'
shuffling my feet over carpet patterned to hide stains of the past
I await a trite spew- delusions
concerning the falsity of pain of genius

will the future face other brick walls?
or poutine and wine and chinacat dolls?

most certainly both.

Knowing nature Vs. Being nature

In an impressionist painting
the tiny dots of individual color
remain unblended
so that the human eye can learn
to form the shapes on its own accord
so that each person sees the shape
slightly different
but the painter's message is not lost,
just open for further interpretation.

In a novel
the editors strive to show each character
clearly
so that there is no confusion regarding
the nature of the man or woman
so that good and bad meet to form
a developing plot and clear moral,
a succinct message,
the only things really open for interpretation
are the individual
words.

A Lake in...

A glass of water motionless with ice
sits on a desk
amidst two months worth of dust

It wants little
on a coaster
It waits to be picked up

The sun rises
and glows hot on the unsuspecting ice
It distorts the image
of everything
beyond
the steadfast glass
Frozen
Now it wells up
with sweat

Somewhere outside
a cloud survives
the sun
A light goes on
above the quick
shrinking ice

Unlike plants and mammals
water doesn’t need
natural light
to grow
beneath the surface
of the earth
a myriad waterways
toss
and turn
uncharted land make paths
few gods will ever know

The cloud moves beyond
the now setting sun
A light goes out
allowing the moon
to illuminate a thing
motionless in itself

The glass is no longer cold
It's grown hot
lukewarm
and diluted
with small pieces of skin
that sat amongst
two month and one day old
dust.
The water waits

It wants not
what humans crave
It wants

Only to be left
quietly
as victim of the sun

A Response

After a lark
with a stranger
it grows earthy in the room
and our bodies stretch out
Rich tones, dew shine, a draft
dries the sweat

Outside,
a day laborer hammers the
brownstone across the street
It wakes us up
unexpectedly
and I can’t help but think
there is somewhere
and someone
I was supposed to be

In a sleepy confusion, she mocks my misstep
"You fool,” she laughs
“Those men don’t have enough money to be someone else”

It is quiet in the room
It has become so cold that I try to feign sleep
so I don’t have to
deal with
waking up in the afternoon

Steaklatechip Cookies Chapter 2

By the first week, Griffin had been annoyed by the lack of space in his car due to the aforementioned oversized dresser. Annoyed so much, in fact, that he decided to procrastinate no longer and take the damn thing apart. He had received it as a moving gift from his grandmother, along with a plate of the best meatballs this side of Genoa. Tawny had been on his case all week about the dresser, but when he suggested she take it apart, she merely acted annoyed and walked away. The hinges were rusty from the vapor of bruscetta and plate after plate of Christmas cookies, making it increasingly difficult to remove the sticky bolts and hinges. Without any help from Tawny, Griffin dismantled the beast and moved it piece by piece to their second floor abode. One flight of stairs felt like three.
Meanwhile, Sal was putting up his Ziggy Stardust poster, predominantly displayed opposite the bedroom doors.
Griffin, armed with the front left cabinet door, passes him. ‘That’s tacky dude.’
‘You’re tacky.’ Sal elaborated, ‘Its a reminder that today is it. That you don’t get another today until tomorrow, but that’s another story.’ Sal would not consider the significance of this until much later, when his story was quite another indeed.

It was the sunset of summer, of one to be forgotten, of one where the destination is unimportant, but the path is everything. The past few months had succumbed to the post-adolescent changes. Griffin sat on the stoop with his feet on the fallen tree. He thought about that day in the park, after school let out. He thought of Tawny; the way her fingers fell across her lap during economics. About five weeks before that day in the park, he sat beside her. He would never forget those fingers and the eyes that met his when she noticed his staring; they hinted at innocence hidden behind an ulterior motive. Those deep eyes were made deeper by then black hair killed him in the park that day.
‘go up and talk to her man, don’t be a pussy’ Sal urged between long drags of a cheap cigar.
Griffin was never good at these things. Everyone always told him to ‘act naturally’, but he could never be himself at times like these. What is ‘natural’ anyway? We’re creatures of habit, but also of circumstantial behavior. What is natural is what pertains to the moment. At this moment he naturally wanted a stiff drink. No such luck, Griffin. He whistled a relevant alice cooper song in his head with his hands in his pockets.
Tawny was like his first kiss in his parent’s basement. Yeah, Tawny was like that, but at the same time she wasn’t. The opposite showed through; even throughout her consistency she imposed on herself, she held a surprising amount of spontaneity. The monster truck tshirts and yearlong construction boots did not scare him anymore, nor did they define her character to him, like it did for others. He pushed the cigarette into the gravel and threw it into the flowerpot his mother had given him. Like his first cigarette at 16, his last had tasted of the pressure of others. Pressure to conform, pressure to perform. Tawny seemed immune of this. He thought it was just the motion of putting his hand to his mouth, but he needed it now. Vitamin N. He laughed at this to make light of the situation, out loud, for there was noone to hear. He did this too much; Trying to balance things. But balance is not performing.