Improper

I laid beside
a woman
who had no interest in my body
to have her touch my flesh
or for me to touch her's.

I laid beside
a lesbian
with soft blue eyes
short brown hair
and men's clothing.

I laid inside
my own addictions
a drink every day
a few drinks every day
a half a pack of cigarettes.

I laid inside
my body
folds of skin that ought not be there
patches of hair on my back
fat on my stomach
from a twenty-beer sunday.

Who is validated?
Who is truly happy?
The old.

The young must look
as though they don't realize
their bodies will deteriorate
eventually
anyway.