Manifest Destiny

Call in the Apaches
This country is hungry

For defacing sovereignty
And indigenous ancestry
Labeling war machines
With Native American majesty

Beckon the burning Tomahawks
Navigate Navaho infantry
Contact the Comanche fighter jet
And seek out Seminole ATVs.

Technology will scalp the enemy
Tradition razed their ranks
Terror leads our nation’s brave
Onto big and better things

Let's Conquer Everything

Blood from veins atop blue dead bodies.
Crime scenes investigate what the revolver forgot to say
Nothing
Bang
Bang
Bang

Federal employees with pension plans mop
sidewalks clean. Their 401k as Kevlar against societal decay
Always
Bank
Bang
Bang

Disease runs rampant in distant African cities
America jokes about it through r-rated zombie movies,
Laughing
Blight
Bank
Bang

Man without boundaries looks to space for consoling,
Forgetting past and present whilst scientists study the destruction
of their planet. In unison they sing with voices drunk on public funding

“Why neglect one paradise when there’s enough time to wreck many?”
Bang
Bang

play dead

there's something about looking into every person's eyes and wondering if it's going to be the last time you'll ever see them that really fucks with you. i look at pictures of people that i love on our final days together and it nearly makes me sick how happy we seem. do i really have a good reason? is this the best thing for me? onwards and upwards.

more than anything else i hate this feeling. this feeling of having an endpoint. suddenly every awkward moment i've had and every time i've questioned whether or not these are the people that i really want to be defining myself by are all coming back to bite me. maybe these things take time. maybe i'm stuck in the past. offwards and downwards?

i don't think i'll ever know for sure.

i'm hoping that, forty years from now, i'll look back on everything i've gone through and think that maybe i'll be thankful that things worked out in the way that they did. that maybe this is just a learning experience and that this is all for the "greater good" whatever the fuck that means. saying goodbye and meaning it is one of the most gut-wrenching things a person can do, and the idea that this really might be the last time i see a certain person completely throws me for a loop. i dont' want certain things to end. i want everyone to coexist and be happy but there's no way that can happen in an environment like this. i'm in need of a change of scenery when everything that i've grown accostomed to is so beautiful.

i dont' know what exactly kills me so much about this entire situation. maybe it's the fact that i feel like i'm metaphorically sitting on my hands while the entire world passes me by. that i'm stuck in the past. that i'm trapped in this mindset that was atmittedly great but obviously time to pass. that i feel like i'm going in so many directions all at once it's hard to know which one is the enlightened path and which one will lead to dissapointment.

i suppose everyone goes through something like this.

maybe i just thought it would never really happen to me.

Paint splatter on spruce trees

There is a blue sky
reflecting in the eyes of a hornet
with layers of iridescent color
that man's eye can only
begin to see.

There is a wide tree
with roots at the base that
burrow further into the ground
than any one man can dig.

There is a true love
that rises every morning
bright and alive
affectionate and caring
that ceases to shine only when
man's eyes are too heavy to appreciate
its light.

a long life, a balanced diet

on a rainy day i saw
disquieting mountaintops grumbling something
to my stomach about mortality.
"if i was going to live forever
i wouldn't smoke cigarettes,"
you explained, sick in bed
with strep throat and oatmeal. it
reminded me of my mother who
had taught me strict definitions
of nutrition, though i think
those definitions have changed. maybe
the food pyramid is 3-dimensional now,
a 2-dimensional pyramid can
only say so much, like photographs of
the countryside which are very nice but
after a while fall flat.
I met a man with a flat liver,
"i wish i wasn't an alcoholic. i used to
think i'd live forever," he said but
he only drank a glass of
red wine a day so i didn't
believe him. i once decided
to try nature photography, i
was going to hike up a mountain but
it had been raining and i thought of
erosion, wondering if the mountain would be
flat one day but the trail was
steep, slippery and wet so i went home. You were
feeling better and you
bummed me a cigarette.